The Inner Critic: The Connection Between Self-Talk and Mental Health

Think about the last thing you said to yourself. Was it positive? Negative? Did you put yourself down because of the way you look or dress? Self-talk is the inner dialogue that’s occurring 24 hours a day, 7 days a week inside your brain. It can be a positive thing when it helps to boost our confidence and self-esteem, or it can be a negative thing when it causes us to think poorly about ourselves and leads to us feeling less than. What I tell my clients is that we are our own worst critics. It’s not surprising to find lots of research that has shown that a majority of our self-talk is often negative, therefore working against us rather than for us.

Negative self-talk, or self-criticism, occurs frequently in individuals with anxiety and depression. Dr. Brené Brown, a well-known researcher at the University of Houston College of Social Work, states that, “Negative self-talk is hidden shame, and that shames relies on buying into what you’re telling yourself.” The more we listen to our inner critic, the stronger the pathways to its voice become. In other words, one self-judgment can activate many more self-judgements which can lead us to feeling even more shame. This can have serious implications on our emotions, goals, and accomplishments in life. Brené says, “Shame needs three things to continue to grow exponentially in our minds: secrecy, silence, and perception of judgment.” In other words, shame will continue to grow unless we start to express our thoughts and feelings. She explains that the moment you start to admit your thoughts and feelings to people who you trust, and these individuals provide support through empathy, shame starts to lose its power over you and the hold it has over your mind.

You can even take it a step further. Not only can you start admitting some of your thoughts and feelings to the empathetic people in your life, but maybe even start challenging some of the faulty beliefs that you may have about yourself, others, and the world. Ask yourself, “Would my best friend say this about me?” If the answer is “No,” then maybe it’s time to look at challenging some of those unproven beliefs you may hold.

One way you can start to challenge negative self-talk, or our inner critic, is through something called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT is an evidenced-based treatment that focuses on helping individuals identify, question, and challenge unproven thoughts and beliefs, which can affect our emotions and behaviors. It is known for being particularly effective in the treatment of anxiety and depression. CBT may be the treatment for you if you’re looking to focus on the here-and-now, interested in learning skills to manage day to day life, and in practicing change strategies to improve your mental health by challenging the negative self-talk.

Consider reaching out to a clinical therapist today and giving CBT a try. You might just surprise yourself at how your outlook on yourself, your life, and the world around you can change in the best of ways.